and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
