I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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