I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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