Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
