My first STD was from a foam party
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I have peed in a lot of sinks
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize