just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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