Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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