life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
