The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
