I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
