OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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