Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
