awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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