If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
