I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
