thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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