Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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