I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
