Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
