His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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