Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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