Pappa wants mamma naked
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
