too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
