i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
