Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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