I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
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Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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