i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
