We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
