you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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