We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
