On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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