don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
