like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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