Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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