The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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