ADVERTISEMENT

• (301): View more from Maryland

  if there is a rhyme for it it must be true

  Fav 2 1380 667

  share tweet
  

• (209): View more from California

  I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.

  Fav 24 1252 3541

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (626): View more from California

  she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song

  Fav 35 1853 4590

  share tweet
  

• (248): View more from Michigan

  I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch

  Fav 78 12998 1217

  share tweet
  
• 

  17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (916): View more from California

  day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.

  Fav 10 6424 1451

  share tweet
  

• (561): View more from Florida

  This is the prime rib incident all over again

  Fav 14 3480 1408

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (631): View more from New York

  This beer is not sobering me up at all

  Fav 13 8154 1566

  share tweet
  

• (613): View more from Ontario

  I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.

  Fav 7 1045 4784

  share tweet
  

• (205): View more from Alabama

  Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.

  Fav 6 3866 1117

  share tweet
  
• 

  These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (720): View more from Colorado

  I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again

  Fav 5 1487 1237

  share tweet
  

• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.

  Fav 8 1421 982

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (256): View more from Alabama

  I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.

  Fav 8 1106 521

  share tweet
  

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed

  Fav 1 775 524

  share tweet
  

• (315): View more from New York

  I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.

  Fav 2 585 534

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (734): View more from Michigan

  I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.

  Fav 2 535 404

  share tweet
  

Randomize