where am i from again
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
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