I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I intend to get homeless drunk
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.