Texts From Last Night

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  (775): View more from Nevada

  god, a vagina is an amazing trump card

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  (775): god, a vagina is an amazing trump card http://tfl.nu/iuci
  Replies (6) Good night (3494) Bad night (413) Order T-Shirt
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.

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  (709): I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again. http://tfl.nu/ujyy
  Replies (19) Good night (5733) Bad night (514) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.

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  (978): suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg. http://tfl.nu/rk1z
  Replies (38) Good night (667) Bad night (11462) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.

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  (208): I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying. http://tfl.nu/4ymz
  Replies (18) Good night (2286) Bad night (3487) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you

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  (717): When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you http://tfl.nu/09i6
  Replies (3) Good night (2849) Bad night (1440)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse

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  (360): tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse http://tfl.nu/pqsg
  Replies (7) Good night (2597) Bad night (914) Order T-Shirt
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.

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  (313): I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city. http://tfl.nu/cnew
  Replies (9) Good night (1178) Bad night (2371) Order T-Shirt
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  (305): View more from Florida

  Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.

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  (305): Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin. http://tfl.nu/eiwf
  Replies (12) Good night (972) Bad night (1288) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet

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  (803): Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet http://tfl.nu/m2pn
  Replies (3) Good night (1276) Bad night (462) Order T-Shirt
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.

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  (302): She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before. http://tfl.nu/kra3
  Replies (11) Good night (3549) Bad night (489)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it

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  (214): I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it http://tfl.nu/key8
  Replies (10) Good night (588) Bad night (1055) Order T-Shirt
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.

  (1-765): View more from Indiana

  And an everlasting friendship

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  (765): So that's all you want from me. Easy ass. (1-765): And an everlasting friendship http://tfl.nu/o4sh
  Replies (8) Good night (1640) Bad night (386) Order T-Shirt
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.

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  (636): Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk. http://tfl.nu/yiv2
  Replies (1) Good night (770) Bad night (312) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.

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  (248): You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open. http://tfl.nu/8umi
  Replies (7) Good night (1376) Bad night (428) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.

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  (541): Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal. http://tfl.nu/2v18
  Replies (0) Good night (352) Bad night (168) Order T-Shirt

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