I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Randomize
