He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.