I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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