found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
