I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Too much gin, very little bucket
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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