I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
