no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
