just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
