I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
do herpes really smell.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
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He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
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I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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