Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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