Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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