Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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