can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
