her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
