3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize