Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Randomize
