i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
