do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize