Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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