this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
