I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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