you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
