Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
