her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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