obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
