Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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