wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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