yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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