i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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