your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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