It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
how drunk are you?
Several
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
